For part one of my new homework series (with homework features every Wednesday until I’m out of ideas… which might be a very long time), a friend recently sent me an email:
Hey Julie–
I have no idea what to do. We started school 2 weeks ago and my 2nd grader never remembers to bring home his homework until he gets off the bus. I’m tried of driving back to school to sneak into his classroom with him. Any advice?
Yep. I sure do have advice. Stop driving back to his school. You’re only giving him a crutch and showing that you can fix his problems. It’s just as hard for moms to learn as kids, but everyone needs to learn that he is responsible for himself. It’s good to make this an early lesson. A few suggestions:
How to help your child learn to remember his homework
Don’t return to school after hours
Returning to school after hours just teaches your child that there’s an easy out every time he forgets: you. There’s no pressure on him to remember because you’ll always be there. The only way to teach him to remember on his own is to take yourself out of the equation. Instead…
Have your child call a friend
Nothing is more frustrating for kids than having to write down his entire spelling list as his friend reads it over the phone. What? Are you sure that’s the word? … Wait. Will you spell that again?! But having him take the time to do this, and admit his error to his buddy, will help him to learn that had he just remembered his homework his afternoon would have been far easier.
Write a letter to the teacher
No. Not you, Mom. Don’t you dare pick up your pen and write a letter. Make your child write a letter to the teacher, explaining that he forgot to bring home his homework and will do it afterschool tomorrow or at recess or whenever the teacher needs it done. This teaches responsibility to the student and helps the teacher to notice if there’s a problem remembering it.
Call the teacher and discuss
If the forgetfulness has been going on for a while, it’s time to open up the communication with your child’s teacher. Schedule a call, share your concerns and ask a few questions:
- Is my child organized in the classroom?
- What’s the pack-up and homework routine?
- How can we help him to remember to bring it home each day? (Use we and not I or you to show you’re a member of the team.)
Ideas for the teacher and your child to help remember
Sometimes, teachers are fresh out of ideas to help your child remember homework, so here are a few suggestions that may help your child (his teacher and you!)
- Attach a keychain to his backpack that will remind him to bring his homework. Something like these mini Notebook Keychains (4 count) should provide just the reminder (you can even write a mini HW message inside.)
- Use an assignment book. I was shocked the other day to learn that some classes in our elementary school use assignment books and others don’t. We all know how helpful list making is, and teaching this skill young is key. If your classroom doesn’t use them, encourage your child to start (you’ll have to teach him how.)
- Suggest the teacher tape a small, bright piece of paper to the desk that will serve as a visual reminder for your child to make sure he has everything he’ll need today before he goes home.
- Ask the teacher to assign a pack-up buddy. Pack-up buddies are great for checking on each other and making sure that both kids are ready to go. They also teach kids that you can partner to help each other.
- Create a reporting/reward system. Did your child bring his homework home every day for a week? Fabulous! It’s time for a little reward from Mom and Dad. Ask the teacher to let you know once a week by sending home a quick homework happy note. If your son or daughter brings home a homework happy note, take him for ice cream, a new book at the bookstore, or spend 30 minutes doing something he wants as a reward. You’re not bribing, you’re rewarding for a job well done.
- Teachers can reward, too. Ask the teacher to let your child bring a happy homework note to the principal after a set number of days of him bringing home his homework. Good principal visits are excellent rewards to kids who are struggling. Positive attention from the head honcho? Wow! That’s a shooting star for sure!
It will take time for your child to become a strong, organized student, but jumping in and getting on the right track as soon as possible will make later years of learning run more smoothly.
Have a question for a future post in the homework series? Let me know by completing this form.
© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.
Love this. great tips. . .
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
thanks Trish!
Twitter: mamaknowsitall
says:
Wonderful tips! I especially love the assignment notebook idea. For little kids who may not be able to write as well, if the teacher doesn’t write it for them, parents can just write, “Is there homework tonight?” and the child can write “Yes”, or “No”. At least then the parents know to look out for something!
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
that’s a GREAT idea, Brandi!
Couldn’t agree more! I don’t mind helping out my kid if it’s a rare occurrence but when it’s a continuous problem it’s time they learn responsibility.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
Exactly!
Twitter: jodifur
says:
Thanks for the reminder about not going back after hours. We are walkers, so I will send Michael back in right after school. I like your ideas better.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
at least you’re sending him and not doing it for him… but, still. he needs to learn a better routine, right?
Twitter: FashOrganized
says:
Can you please write one for husbands who forget everything. I have run out of tips. Thank you for this. I keep asking people when they were kids did their parents had to remind them to do homework. I was never reminded. I want to scream sometimes. You rock!
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
my pleasure! And, yes, I have to remind my kids to focus, focus focus. Not sure I can help with your husband, but these tips might help your kids to not become as forgetful as him.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
actually I can probably give you lots of inappropriate and and tongue-in-cheek ideas to help your husband. But I won’t go there.
Twitter: hchybinski
says:
homework. . .ugh. . .LOL. All our kids from 1-12 get an assignment book – it’s helps to a point. . .what’s nice this year is all Ryan’s MS teachers have websites. he can log onto them through the school site and check homework – some of the assignments are even online. If he forgets a book or paper – then we need to improvise.
Thanks for sharing your great tips and ideas!
Hillary
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
it sounds nice, but I do wonder if the kids aren’t learning to be quite as responsible when everything is so readily available. Still… you’re right. They still need supplies.
Twitter: FoundtheMarbles
says:
Every class in our school has assignment books, from Kindergarten through 6th grade. Such a big help!
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
I was SO surprised to find out that not all the classes have them. It should be provided by the district.
You should see the checklists I just made for the back of the garage door to make sure we don’t forget anything!
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
that’s a great idea.
Awesome tips. Although this is the fact that as parents we want everything to go well for our children, but we should avoid becoming helicopter parents! Children’s homework belongs to them and parents should not take on the responsibility for their homework .
Twitter: http://twitter.com/justprecious
says:
nodding my head in agreement, Azadeh.