As a parent, watching your teenager decide where to go to college is a bit like watching them learn to drive. It’s exciting that they even want to go in the first place. It’s scary that they’re going to be dipping a toe on independence. And when you’re not technically in control, you have to remember how to breathe.
Fear not though, supporting your teenager through college selection processes doesn’t have to involve late night stress sessions or bribing them with pizza to look at brochures. With the right balance of humour, encouragement and snacks, you can be their biggest cheerleader without being that parent who panics and buys a university hoodie. Here are some simple ways to help your teenager as they choose among the best colleges and universities for their future.
- Let them be the leader. You have the wisdom and you have the life experience and you have the opinions, but this is not your time. This is the time when you take a step back and be the listener and the supporter and not the captain of the ship. This is not your college experience, this is not going to be your career, and it’s not going to be your life. It’s theirs. You raise them to have wings, so let them spread them and fly. Take a step back and let them explore what they want in a school. Encourage them to consider the campus vibe and the teaching styles and the majors that they could be interested in. Encourage them to go far from home if they want to, or stay close to home if they want to. Be a guide, but don’t dominate the conversation.
- Bring snacks on the road trips. College visits can be long, confusing, and packed with awkward tours led by overly peppy sophomores. Make it fun. Bring the road trip snacks, book good accommodation, and take breaks to explore. Bonus points if you don’t mention how tuition has gone up 3000% since you’re at school. Let them rank the campuses right after. And remember to remind them about first impressions.
- Talk about money. The tuition talk is important, but you don’t need to get the spread spreadsheet out on day one. Be honest about what you can realistically afford, what you’ve got in savings, and explore financial aid and scholarship options together. This should be framed as teamwork that you figure out together rather than you’ll be paying off their loans till they’re 83.
- Help them with their research. There are thousands of colleges out there and everyone of them claims to be the best. Help your teenager to narrow the field using tools like rankings, virtual tours, and trusted sources that compare the best colleges and universities without overwhelming them. Don’t let them judge a school solely based on its mascot or how cool the dorms look on TikTok, either.
- Remind them that there is no wrong decision. Choosing a college is important, but it’s not a forever tattoo. People transfer, people change majors, people graduate and go on to do amazing things no matter where they went to school. Whatever it is your teen wants to do with their life, they can find a college to match that and support that vision. And you can do that too.
