There it is. The question I’ve been working so hard to answer lately. I’ve been quiet on here, while life is running rapid. School’s ending… the extracurricular schedules are crazy and, to be honest, my 4 year old has been… difficult, at times. Plus, a kid in a cast, emotional sport seasons, freelance writing and projects and contracted writing for other blogs… to sum it up.
And I’m finding less and less free time to write for Julieverse. I’m writing, a lot, but I find that so much of what I write has ventured into the “not for Julieverse” category because I’m telling other people’s stories and experiences, not my own. While that writing is gorgeously therapeutic, it’s not proving to be things I want to share on the blog. Again, their stories, not mine.
I’ve written of my pride in Big, as his broken thumb ended his baseball season but his spirit and participation soared and he stayed with the team through their championship playoffs.
I’ve written of my wows of Middle, who completed his first season in soccer and opened his second grade play with the first line!
I’ve written of Little completing preschool, our struggles to determine what’s best for her–moving on to Kindergarten or Pre-K, and her love and improvements in her sports. And I’ve written of my frustrations with a four year old little girl who tries so hard to manipulate me and get her own way.
Again, their stories, not mine.
So. I’ve tried. So very hard. And I’m trying. I’m trying to develop my own story.
I suppose this is a part of parenthood–when your kids start living independently and finding their own way. They stumble, you help them through those stumbles, but you realize it’s time to focus a little more on your own life.
And then, in my case, you struggle to find out exactly what that is.
You look deep down inside you. You search the surface. You do a million buzzfeed quizzes.
And, still. Nothing.
Maybe you take a wild sidestep and interview for a dream job. And you come super close to getting it.
And you consider you’re a stay at home mom, who has vast experience in blogging, marketing, PR, social media, education… And, maybe, as you do that you foreshadow on your life a year or two from now … and suddenly, you wonder if this is the right move.
So, why not do something wild and take a gamble on learning a different form of marketing: sales. You shock yourself with all you’re learning and enjoying, but you still wonder–what’s next? This is fun. It’s a little income. But.
So. That’s where I am. I’m staring down a puffy, gleaming coral question mark that’s spinning in front of me.
It’s my evolution. My turn. My chance to find where life takes me next.
I just wish that question mark would stop turning so much and give me a bit of an arrow in the right direction.
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